The Past Month

OK, ever since Facebook entered into my life, I can’t seem to visit my old friend WordPress.  Sorry!

So, this past month… Let’s see.

Got offered a job that pays almost twice what I make now.  And, with a decision I’m sure to regret, I turned the offer down.  Crazy, right?  Probably.  But, I wouldn’t have been happy doing the work.  I’ve spent so long looking for a better job that I can’t just give up for a better paycheck.  I’ll take a pay cut to find something I like.

Which I might have found… I talked with someone else about a job I really want, and I think it was tentatively offered to me, but then… Nothing.  Haven’t heard from the Director since.  Hmm… Fingers once again crossed.

What else?  I took some time off of work, which was fantastic!  Went to the park everyday and just enjoyed the freedom.  It’s been hard getting back into a work routine though.  I guess that’s the downside of a staycation.

Went to the reunion.  Ugh.  It was pretty bad.  I was pretty much the ONLY single person there.  All the guys are old, fat and bald and all the ladies are very… I don’t know… Southern?  Conservative?  Desperate to get into the country club?  Maybe I’m not being fair, but I was not impressed with how my class has aged and developed.  Thank god I didn’t actually travel to get to the thing.

I did see a few people that I had missed.  One of which has moved to Nashville and has talked me into doing a half marathon next month.  Oh, lord.  Don’t worry, I’m planning on walking it, but I still have to keep up a pretty speedy pace to finish officially (and get the medal!!!  I’m obsessed with the medal.)  Considering how badly I wanted to lose weight and get in shape, the timing is good.  So, I’ve started “training”– A lot of walking, a little running and eating better.  The goal is to lose 15 pounds by Christmas.  Do-able, but still tough.  However, I did run for more than 30 minutes today, so how ’bout that?!

What else?  I’m falling back in love with music.  This week it’s Ray LaMontagne and Brett Dennen and their new albums.  And Bon Iver!  I’ve just been introduced and I’m a big fan.  Last week, I spent the days with Miles Davis and Nina Simone and that was pretty good too.  I’m enjoying it all so much that I have to force myself to watch TV.  (I’m completely out of DVR space, thanks to Season Two of Mad Men.  I couldn’t watch it when it came on, because I wasn’t ready to watch them chain smoke.  Now it’s not a problem, but I just haven’t found the time to sit down and watch it all.)

So, just because I can:

Autumn. Finally.

I can’t explain the sheer joy I feel when there is a slight chill in the air.  Add a few leaves on the sidewalk, and I might just do a little jig.  The weather here has been incredible this week, and couldn’t have come any sooner.

So, what’s new?  Same old shit mostly.  It’s been over two months since I quit smoking.  I managed to gain way more weight in those two months than I should have, so it’s time to quit eating.  To be honest, I haven’t felt well at all these past few weeks, so I’ve made an appointment to get it all checked out.  Hopefully it’s nothing a diet and more exercise can’t take care of, so let’s all keep our fingers crossed, shall we?

Cannot believe the debate last night.  Sarah Palin scares the shit out of me.  Honestly.  I don’t want that woman running my office, much less my country.  I know she’s trying to prove that she’s no different than the average American–Joe Sixpack–but I don’t want the average American in one of the two highest offices in the land.  I want an elitist, for god’s sake!  Really.  I want the smartest person I can find who is actually willing to do it.  What the hell is wrong with these people who think she’s god’s gift to the political arena?  If McCain wins, I think it is fair to say that the USA is doomed.  We may already be on a path that we can’t recover from, but his election would guarantee the end of the country as we knew it.  It’s a good thing I adore Canada, although I am sure there will be a huge line to get in.

Job search?  Hmm, what job search?  The economy is so fucked that it’s hardly worth the effort and eventual disappointment.  Even my current employer is getting rid of people.  And we were ridiculously short-staffed to begin with.  So, I don’t see any point in begging people to hire me at the moment.  I have two leads here in town that I’ll follow up on, but otherwise I’ll continue to clock in at the prison every day.  They might as well get what little of my soul that remains.

Still enjoying my new virtual life.  I figure it’s just a step on the way to getting a real life.  I’ve managed to catch up with a lot of folks from college, many of whom I’ll be seeing tomorrow at the reunion.  (I just crossed myself, and I’m not Catholic.)

I also scheduled myself more than a week away from the office.  Hallelujah!  A few days in the Ozarks and nearly a week here to just enjoy not being at work.  I’m counting the minutes until next Friday at 6:00 pm when I will be free.  One more week.

Another day, another job lead…

Just got another interview for a position here it town.  I think it could be a really good fit for me, despite the fact that it is here.  Then again, I just spent a whole day and $400 on my yard, so maybe I should live here for a while to enjoy it.

My alma mater sucks.

I didn’t like my school when I was a student there.  Then, last week, they called ME and asked if I wanted to interview for a job there.  I said yes, since I think they still owe me some money.

So, today, I am ready when they call for the interview.  It’s a panel of six people–a real hardcore telephone interview, especially considering I live about a mile from campus and offered to come in for the thing.  Three questions in, they end the interview abruptly, saying I don’t meet their qualifications.

THEY called ME.  WTF?

Did the school want one more chance to humiliate me?

I’m losing my patience.

Wow…

Was it only a week ago that I sent out all of those job applications?

Well, I must’ve done something right.  I’ve already had one phone interview with a second lined up.  It wasn’t for the job at the top of my list, but it’s still something.  And while this job isn’t the dream job, it’s got my attention for sure.

Many thanks to D&D for forcing me to get my resume in shape.

Job Search On!

So I’ve decided that my new job is looking for a job.  I’m still working at the other place, but I need to do everything in my power to move on out of there.  To that end, I have spent this entire holiday working on my new job.  I set up a Job Tracking database to keep my everything in order.  And, I applied to five jobs today.  That makes six for the week!  I have two more in the planner, so guess what I’m doing tomorrow…

4 Pathways

I’m at a crossroads, if that hasn’t already become obvious.  And I figure that there are 4 distinct paths I could take to 4 distinct goals.  What is interesting is that none of the paths overlap AT ALL.  So it’s a big decision.  If I change my mind, I have to work backwards to change routes.  So, I could…

1.  Stay put.  Continue working in my current field and hope it gets better.  Hmmm… No?

2.  Go to school anyway.  Work toward the same degree without the actual degree.  Hope it leads to a better job.  Dicey.

3.  Work towards the “dream scenario,” the ultimate goal for where I want to be in 20 years.  It requires maximum effort, huge sacrifices, a big move and a lot of guts.  Kinda scary…

4.  Use the resources at hand to involve myself in a project that could last 5-10 years and would keep me here.  Like #3, it would also require a huge financial investment on my part.  Also scary.

My wacky Tarot reading the other night emphasized patience, something I have always lacked.  Everyone keeps telling me to slow down and to not to jump into anything.  Well, that’s all fine and good, but I’ve been sitting on my ass, being passive, for way too long.  Maybe rash is good.  Or maybe I really am just that impatient.  I feel like if I don’t jump now, I never will.

I just read over this and the correct path is clear.  But can I do it?

Fingers crossed!

Phone interview went really well this morning. (I think.) Now I just have to keep my fingers crossed.

Seriously, who else in this town studied religion, worked in a medical capacity, has the skills of a librarian and experience with web design and editing?

I am a slave.

Whew… It’s only Tuesday, and my job has kind of kicked my ass. Actually, it’s kicked my spirit.

I just realized that I have been in public service too long. I don’t know how people have careers in this field for 30 years! I’ve only been at it for seven, and I fear that it’s been two years too long. I used to see the good in people and that is definitely not the case anymore.

I remember when I first started… I couldn’t believe how bitter and dispassionate some of my coworkers were. I thought they were just horrible, and I remember thinking that I would never end up like them because I am a “good person”.

Well, I’m not. I’ve become very much like them. And it sucks. I can’t stand some of the thoughts that pass through my mind when I see someone approaching my desk.

Maybe it’s just because it was a hell of a day. I busted two teens having sex in the bathroom; someone else had their keys (and ultimately their car) stolen, and I can’t count the number of people who got mad at me because I refused to do their taxes for them. (I don’t even do my own!)

I’m sick of being treated like a servant. When did public service become public servitude?

I have an interview Thursday for a job that could be a really good fit for me, even though it is still in this god-forsaken town. But, it wouldn’t require me to stand alone in an open space as people hurl angry threats and ugly comments my way, all while I’m basically doing the work they will eventually take credit for. At least, I hope not!

What’s New?

Not much!

Still no word from South Africa. Work is a bit chaotic right now…we’re going through a big restructuring process and people are dropping like flies. I think my job is safe, but one can never tell. It’s definitely a bad time to ask for a leave of absence, though. Gotta come up with a new plan.

I bumped in to my long-time crush the other day. I still think there’s real possibility there, but there’s a hurdle I just can’t seem to get over. OK, a few hurdles. But I’ll figure it out somehow. He’s been very encouraging on this whole dropping-everything-and-going-to-Africa thing. I hope it’s not just to get me off the continent! But I don’t think I’ll see him again until after the holidays.

I caught up with my gay husband and my gay lover this week, which was good. My gay husband really wants me to move to DC to be near him, which I agree would be great. I’m just not sure that I can move to be near him just to share him with his boyfriend:) And I’m going to be able to see my gay lover and his boyfriend on my trip to my parents’ for Christmas. If only I were a gay man… Why are all the great men in my life gay? How did I become the woman with a posse of gay men around me? I guess it doesn’t matter–I wouldn’t trade either of them for a… Well, maybe.

Played poker last weekend for the first time in a while. Just me and the guys from the regular game. It was really good to catch up and just play, even though my game was crap! I really need to get some practice in. Even though I was playing such shit, I managed to get to heads up with a pretty big chip lead, but after four hours and 10 diet cokes, I lost my concentration. It’s the first time I have played at the bar since I quit drinking, and I might’ve overdone it with the caffeine. But, I didn’t have any desire to drink, so that’s good. Over four months without a drop! Not bad.

So, in honor of the holidays, my Christmas Wish List: (Don’t worry, I don’t expect any of it!)
1. iPhone
2. bicycle
3. flat-screen TV
4. a new job
5. an idea of what to get for my family

OK, that list made me realize how lucky I am. I don’t really want or need much of anything. But, I would love a bicycle…