Woo-hoo!
July 30, 2008
I have not smoked in over a week. It’s official—I have quit. For anyone who needs a little inspiration to join me in Ex-Smokerville, take a peek at this.
I’m getting a bit mushy…
July 29, 2008
First a post about the “Beautiful South” (WTF?) and now this… But, this is a lovely tribute by someone I don’t know about someone I’ve never met: Days with My Father.
Beautiful South
July 27, 2008
I know I spend a lot of time complaining about living in the South, but every now and again, there is a moment that just can’t be had anywhere else.
I just had a 30-minute moment with the South, and I needed it.
I took the baby out for a walk, just as usual, although the moment I set foot out the door I knew tonight’s walk would be a little longer than usual. First off, we’ve been hitting the 100-degree-mark most days lately, but it rained for a few minutes earlier this evening, so the temperature has cooled significantly. It was probably in the upper 70s, which feels like the lower 60s in this town.
And I don’t know if it was the rain, or the fact that I’m not as olfactorily challenged as I was 5 days ago, but the smell! Every magnolia, every crepe myrtle, every azalea seemed to be waking up and stretching. Each house along the street appeared to be growing alongside the greens and browns, as if the homes organically belonged there, with their stained glass windows and quirky bungalow designs. It was very silent, save for the crickets and frogs, and I had trouble even whispering a command to Mag for fear of upsetting the balance.
Despite the rain, a few stars were visible and although I am no expert, they all seemed perfectly aligned.
This is so much harder…
July 27, 2008
I want a cigarette. Now.
Actually, I want about twelve.
This is so much harder than giving up alcohol. I’m going to gain 20 pounds at least.
But I’ve made it 5 days so far. And I’m going to make it many more. I’ve come up with my own method for getting through it… Lots of popsicles, altoids and dark chocolate treats. Work is the hardest, because I love being able to take a smoke break. Yesterday I was an absolute monster, but I don’t really care. And instead of going outside on my break, I ran up and down the staff stairs–5 flights up and down.
The puppy is getting a lot of extra walks as well.
And for true emergencies, I have one pack of nicotine gum (That shit is expensive!), which I am not supposed to chew in the first place. (I am such a toothless hillbilly…) Luckily, the gum tastes like crap, so there is no chance I’ll get addicted to it.
Off for another walk…
I’m a quitter. At least, I hope so.
July 25, 2008
It’s been over a year now since I last had an alcoholic drink. And the year has flown by… I never imagined that giving up alcohol would be so easy. So, now it’s time to celebrate my sobriety by quitting something else!
I quit smoking. I say it as if it is already true, but in all actuality I have a long way to go. This is much harder than giving up alcohol. I’ve only made it two days and I have craved a cigarette every moment.
But, if there is anything I have learned about myself over the past few years, it is that I am much stronger than I give myself credit for. So, I will still be a quitter in a week, and a month and a year. This is it.
Why? The woman I want to be– She’s a nonsmoker.
Book Update
July 19, 2008
What I’ve been enjoying lately:
1. In Defense of Food: An Eater’s Manifesto by Michael Pollan – I think it is fair to say that this book might have changed my life. Maybe a lot of what Pollan discusses in this book should be common sense, but I had just never thought about why I eat what I do. I cannot wait to read The Omnivore’s Dilemma when I get through my current stack.
2. The World Without Us by Alan Weisman – I really like Weisman’s approach to this concept. Fantastic writing, great information and a creative viewpoint. And it scares the hell out of me, which I think is probably part of the point. I highly suggest this book for everyone…
3. Suite Francaise by Irene Nemirovsky – I was really excited about this book, but it didn’t fit my expectations at all. The story of its creation and reappearance is the stuff of legend. And Nemirovsky’s ability to envision the scope of a war as it was happening is nothing short of remarkable. But, as for actually reading it, meh…
4. The Collectors and Stone Cold by David Baldacci – My mother made me read the first in this series, The Camel Club, some time ago. I was hesitant, but I have to admit that my Mom was right–this series has a great cast of kooky characters. Fun and suspenseful, I enjoyed them all. It’s a shame that Stone Cold is probably the last with these characters.
Next up: The Devil’s Highway by Luis Alberto Urrea. I’ve heard great things, so here’s to hoping.
I’ve got a crush on Scott Van Pelt.
July 16, 2008
OK, so I’m not one to have crushes on people I don’t know. Seriously. Except for Jon Stewart, because, well, he’s Jon Stewart.
But I’ve never really had a good celebrity crush. Brad Pitt, Colin What’s His Name, Orlando Bloom… Whatever. Sure, I can admit to being attracted to guys I see on TV, but never do I crush on any of them.
Due to a freak gardening accident (of sorts), I’ve been home from work all day, watching ESPN, and I think I’ve developed a crush on Scott Van Pelt.
It’s weird. Especially since he sort of reminds me of Matthew Perry.
A Few Good Men
July 12, 2008
There have only been a few guys in my life that I can say I’ve truly cared about. Lots of fun make-out partners, too many one-night stands, but only a very few that I’ve genuinely felt that I could love. And today I found out that one of them is married.
Now this shouldn’t be at all surprising. I haven’t spent any time with him in almost ten years, and a lot should have happened in that time, but it shocked me nonetheless. I guess when one gets to a certain point in their life and finds themselves without a significant relationship, it’s possible that one would tend to harbor a thought of “what if?” (And by “one” I mean me.) What if we were to bump into one another? Would he still be as wonderful as I remember him to be? Or have I created an image of him (and a select few others) that is unfairly perfect so that guys I meet now couldn’t possibly compare?
Perhaps I should say yes to that last question. I know that I tend to remember the really good and the really bad and let the rest fade away.
But, I know what’s really bothering me. He was the last one. The last single one, that is. All the others are already married.
And since I have never been good at imagining my future… Well, when I try to, I take pieces of my past and rearrange them so that they lead to something else, something better. He was the last one I could semi-logically use in that construct.
I must officially get a new life. And a therapist, apparently.
Wow…
July 12, 2008
Was it only a week ago that I sent out all of those job applications?
Well, I must’ve done something right. I’ve already had one phone interview with a second lined up. It wasn’t for the job at the top of my list, but it’s still something. And while this job isn’t the dream job, it’s got my attention for sure.
Many thanks to D&D for forcing me to get my resume in shape.
